Breastfeeding Advice After 6 Kids

Ok ladies, we're all different, but I think in alot of ways we work the same. Here is a brief journey through breastfeeding my 6 kids, all of whom were different, and what I've learned in the process.

I'm currently feeding #6, our second girl, Danielle. So that journey is still in progress.

Here are the key takeaways:

1. No one told me in the hospital that I could tell by sounds, slurping, gulping, swallowing and yes, spitting up that the baby was actually getting milk.

2. There are tools that make nursing easier and lactation consultants may touch you, but they can be your best friend.

3. If your babies lips/tongue are dry, contact your doctor, they may be dehydrated

4. I think alot of moms who really want to breastfeed give up too soon. After a poor start it took a good six months of pumping continuously to build my supply to fully feeding my first.

5. Milk banks exist regionally to donate milk to for NICU babies

6. Hospital pumps are the best, borrow them at the hospital. They also give you a nice kit that may be compatible with your personal pump, (and mine came with a hand pump that I use in a crunch).

7. One kid's success or failure doesn't determine the rest

8. Change your pump parts. In the US most people get them every three months. It actually makes a difference.

9. Pumping before my child nursed was the easiest way to build my supply.

10. In the beginning 1/4 of an ounce is more than most babies eat.

#1. Henry

Poor, poor first time Mom. When they handed me Henry at the hospital, I took one look at him, thought, awwww...., andd then immediately thought "why are you handing me this thing and what am I supposed to do with it?". Killer Mom instincts, right?

When it came to breastfeeding him, I'd missed that class in our baby prep because I was in the hospital having a baby. I contacted lactation, they came a few hours later, and showed me how my equipment worked.

Here is thing. If you haven't had your baby yet, that first latch is pretty critical. It's not that you've lost the game if you don't get it immediately, but hours later for lactation was a long time to my body, and to his. But, we persevered, and he ate well in the hospital.

Once we got home, it was another story. Our first few nights were hell. I remember my husband and I being up together one night a few nights in, almost zero sleep, trying to make this kid stop screaming at the top of his lungs. There wasn't any emotional capacity left in either one of us. He was screaming and we needed it to stop.

My nipples hurt too. Oh, my, goodness, they hurt! He couldn't be hungry though, he'd sucked on me for hours, and every time he did I wanted to cry. It was the definition of awful.

Three days into being a home I was on the phone with a friend, trying to figure out why we'd ever made a baby, and I turned and looked at the poor guy screaming in his crib. I felt like such a failure and didn't know how to fix it. His head was turned so that his face was up against the crib bars and I noticed from across the room that his lips were cracked. I said bye to the friend, hung up, and went over to him. Was it normal for a baby's lips to be cracked? Probably, with all the screaming this one had done.

I thought about it and decided to call the doctor. I asked the nurse if it was normal. "If his lips are dry, check his tongue. If his tongue is dry, he's dehydrated." I checked, yep, dry tongue.

I'll save the long story, but as it turned out, Henry hadn't been latching at all. He was just sucking on my nipples, making them hurt, and not getting a dang thing out of them. His weight had dropped, and shortly after, he had stopped peeing. Our doctor who doesn't tend to mince words told us to put as much formula down him as he'd take, and if he didn't pee in 24 hours, to go to the emergency room.

But then she did something else that I think is not common enough these days. She turned to me and said "Kristian, I don't want you to stop trying to breastfeed". She told me to call lactation at the hospital and get another consult, and that changed the game.

The lactation nurse gave me a nipple shield and Lanolin and we practiced different holds with the baby. Lactation gets a bad rap sometimes because they have to touch your lady parts, but I was ok with it. She also explained what a successfully nursing baby sounds like.

Babies when they are drinking make sounds. They swallow, they smack, they spit up, and milk leaks from their mouths.

No one told me that in the hospital. That's not how it happens on TV either.

I used the shield for about a week as we got the hang of it, and gently weaned Henry off of formula. I think he was on it for about 6 months before I'd built up my supply enough to feed him full time.

It took alot of work. I pumped before he nursed and let him demand more from my body. I pumped at work several times a day. I switched off between reading my favorite book and working, when I could. I used an empty office so I wouldn't have to walk as far and lose out on those work hours. My life in a way became about nursing and pumping.

I remember putting that first bag of milk in the freezer somewhere around the 6 month mark, and having enough for him to stay with grandparents. Once he started eating table food, that helped too, but I never had a surplus with Henry, save a few bags in the freezer.

But I did it. I think alot of moms who really want to breastfeed give up too soon. It took months before I was able to give him what he needed because we got a bad start, but we did it, and I fed him through his first 18 months.

#2. Emily

Emily by far was my easiest birth, and she was the easiest to nurse. I put her to the breast right after she was born and she latched immediately. That was our journey for the most part. Yes, there was a bit of soreness on my part, but nothing much else. She grew and grew and my stash overran both freezers.

I started pumping after a few days and pumped multiple times a day. I wanted to make sure nothing happened like what happened with Henry.

When I'd pump I'd fill a large Medilla bottle. I even found some 12oz ones online that were off brand but plugged into my pump. This is not a brag, but for me it was possible with very focused pumping and nursing.

With Henry I'd been so desperate that he have breastmilk that I ran across the North Texas Milk bank (most regions have them), and with Emily I became a donor. 4,000 ounces and 18 months later I weaned her.

#3. Timothy:

Timothy was my NICU baby. He came out 9lbs 15oz and sick. I had a cold the day I delivered him, and he had it too. I knew I wanted to breastfeed him, but NICU didn't encourage me to physically breastfeed him, so I borrowed a pump from the hospital and started pumping.

That first day, I got maybe a fourth of an ounce, all day long. Several pumping sessions. The nurses told me how good that was, and I looked at them like they were crazy.

But here is the thing. We fed the kiddo with an eyedropper. Not even a nipple, because these babies really don't need much at all.

Eventually I was getting a quarter ounce of colostrum every time I pumped, and believe it or not, we left the hospital with a surplus.

Towards the end of our stay we were put in a private NICU room with him. This was a mistake on the hospital's part, but it worked out for us. Then I could really feed him. He latched just fine in the hospital, and before I knew it, it was time to go home. We only stayed for a few days, this wasn't a NICU marathon like some mom's deal with.

When we got home, things changed. Mostly because I was super sore. Some of the frustrations I had with Henry came back as we adjusted to our environment. I remember crying at some point and my husband turning on youtube tutorials on the TV. I scoffed at them to be honest. I'd done this with two other babies. I knew what I was doing.

Turns out, some of it was just postpartum first nursing soreness which has continued to happen to me that first week or so with all of my kids, but to my husband's credit, Youtube helped too. I learned a new hold (how I held the baby during nursing) that really helped out.

I religiously pumped and nursed him, and ended up with an overage again that got donated to the milk bank.

#4: Alexander:

Alexander was my Covid baby. He was born in May of 2020 right after Covid started Mid-March. The requirements were crazy in the hospital, but nursing was the same.

He latched fine in the delivery room, ate, and we kept going successfully through the over two years I breastfed him. No big lessons here. I pumped religiously and had a surplus despite him working with me at home for 18 months. I don't know how I did it to be honest. Working and paying attention to a baby is not an easy task, and then I pumped on top of that.

Again, we donated. I nursed him longest because of all the Covid germs.

#5. William:

By number five I was tired. I decided that I didn't need to nurse and pump as religiously as before. After all, I knew it all, right? He latched right on after birth, we were successful in the hospital, I had soreness at home, but we were successful here too. When it rolled around to time for our parental leave to be over though, the issues started. I'd pump and get almost nothing.

So, I started trying to pump religiously like I had with Henry. I did OK during the day, but at night it was another story. Somewhere in there I forgot to pump before I breastfed, I think part of that was I didn't think about it until he was crying hungry.

We had a friend who I gave a bit of milk to for her little one, but I hardly donated anything. I'd topped off with the other kids at nearly 7,000 ounces to the milk bank, and felt bad that I couldn't do more with this family.

We hung on without supplementing, but just barely. Making him enough bottles to get him through daycare became a daily stressor. I truly believe it was because I didn't pump as much in the beginning and that I lacked the ability to pump before he ate most of the time. Despite the thousands of ounces I'd donated with the other kids, I once again felt like a failure.

William was a big eater at first, but by the time I weaned him at only 15 months we were both done, and I was pregnant again. My nipples were sore due to that and I was tired of the stress of trying to make enough to make him bottles. He simply didn't care, so we went to regular milk.

#6. Danielle

Still in progress, Danielle is about 5 months old and just started daycare. So far, I'm easily pumping enough to keep up with her school needs (3 - 6oz bottles per day). I haven't started back to pumping before she eats for the same reason as with William. Life is just so busy with two under two and four more.

I'm trying power pumping this time which sometimes is great and other times is disappointing. I pump for 10 minutes, stop for 10 minutes, pump for 10 minutes, stop for 10 minutes and then pump for a few more minutes. I hope it is stimulating my supply.

This is the first time I've not used a Medilla pump. I'm using Motif. I absolutely LOVE that it has a battery with it, so I plug it in and charge it twice a week and then I'm good to go. Wherever, whenever. No being chained to a wall in one spot of the house.

I found out something with this pump that I've ignored with the rest. Those supply refreshes that I get every 3 months, they matter. I trippled my milk supply in one day just by changing to new equipment.

We will see how this goes, but I hope to feed her for 18 months. She'll start baby food in the next couple of months.

From one hot mess to another — you’ve got this,

Kristian

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Kristian is a mom of six, Program Manager by day, active Professional Photographer by trade, and a big believer in finding beauty in the everyday chaos.

Life in our house is loud, messy and full of literally everything. Love, noise, laundry, laughter, and definitely could use a bit more grace. I'm happily married to my best friend, grounded in my Catholic faith, and fueled by five to six hours of sleep per night and adrenaline.

I try to find joy in the everyday — even when it's wild, because without the little bit of joy, this life would be unbearable. This space is for the moms in the middle of it all: the ones juggling family, faith, work, and wonder. The ones that need someone else's messy life to make their own seem better or somewhat normal. You're not alone, and you're doing better than you think.

Welcome to Six Sweet Smiles — where we celebrate the mess, the miracles, and everything in between.