Walking Through My House: Enter at Your Own Risk

Our Couch is embarrassing even if we are packing to move this furniture to another room.

Walking through my house can feel like stepping into a hurricane—except the storm is mostly Legos, laundry, and a few stray toys that multiply overnight. With six kids, a small business, and a day job, my house is never “perfect,” and honestly? That’s okay. Some of you might look at these rooms and think, “Oh wow, she’s a slob,” while others are silently sighing in relief that it’s not just them. Between hand-me-downs, overflowing closets, and the constant battle of keeping up with chores, I’ve learned that real life with kids comes first—and a clean house comes second.

The hallway to the kids rooms

We have a family of six: three kids are relatively good at doing chores, my five-year-old is just starting to learn now that he’s in kindergarten (though he’s not always effective or willing), my two-year-old occasionally helps take things to the trash or sink—sometimes taking things where he shouldn’t—and the six-month-old is the reason I spend more time on the couch than I’d like.

Combined, we probably do about an hour and a half to two hours of chores every day—picking up the house, doing dishes, laundry, the usual. But here’s the real problem: we have too much stuff. If we had space to store it all, it would already be put away. We have five bedrooms, nine closets (four kids’ rooms, a moderately sized closet for my husband, a full sized closet for me, a coat closet, two small closets with shelves and a small laundry room closet that holds our cat box and brooms). It should be enough for eight people, but it isn’t.

Hand-me-downs, toys, clothes for four boys, cat litter, my childhood keepsakes, brooms, laundry baskets… it all piles up. I’ve been on a decluttering spree for the past couple of weeks, and no matter what I do, it never feels like enough. My new plan: declutter one room at a time and make it perfect before moving on. So far, I’ve completed one room. Progress, not perfection, right?

A bin of who-knows-what that has been sitting out in my house for a week. I wish it was the only such bin, but we both know it is not.

Here’s the thing: I work, I run a small business, and I have six kids. I could have a Martha Stewart–inspired house if I dedicated myself to it, but I chose kids over cleanliness—and I’m trying to balance both worlds.

I think a lot of us women tie some of our self-worth to how clean our house is. I’ve felt this way my whole marriage. I remember early on, when we rented our first house, my husband got upset because I would clean before our parents visited. Our social circle at the time was our parents and high school friends, and yes it bothers me. It still does, I still manage to tie my self-worth—even with a career, a small business, and six kids—to how tidy my home is.

Some days my self worth still is tied to this disaster I call a home, but the reality is it shouldn't be.

For men, self-worth seems to often be tied to a career or having a nice house or a nice car, being the provider. The reality now is though that alot of women are providers too, but we still don't seem to have given up that part of us that ties our self worth to how clean we keep our home. Sometimes I feel like we are self-destructive in our care-about list. We take pride in how well we juggle tasks, how organized we are, and how our house looks even when we’re busy giving our kids the best.

The reality? Having a messy house doesn’t make you a bad mom. It just makes you human. I’m learning to embrace that—even if someone walks into a room I haven’t pre-cleaned, it’s not the end of the world. Kids first, perfection second.

---

You spend your days giving your all to your kids—feeding them, cheering them on, holding them up. What if you gave yourself a little of that same love? At Kristian Hutchings Portraits, I’ll handle your hair, makeup, and posing while you relax, letting yourself be seen and cherished in portraits that reflect the incredible woman you are.

_______________________

Kristian is a mom of six, Program Manager by day, active Professional Photographer by trade, and a big believer in finding beauty in the everyday chaos.

Life in our house is loud, messy and full of literally everything. Love, noise, laundry, laughter, and definitely could use a bit more grace. I'm happily married to my best friend, grounded in my Catholic faith, and fueled by five to six hours of sleep per night and adrenaline.

I try to find joy in the everyday — even when it's wild, because without the little bit of joy, this life would be unbearable. This space is for the moms in the middle of it all: the ones juggling family, faith, work, and wonder. The ones that need someone else's messy life to make their own seem better or somewhat normal. You're not alone, and you're doing better than you think.

Welcome to Six Sweet Smiles — where we celebrate the mess, the miracles, and everything in between.