The Unexpected Grief of Leaving a Job

This whole job search thing has been daunting. I have officially landed a new position with a company that I am hopeful will be really great. What I did not expect, though, was how upsetting the ending would feel.

I have spent the last stretch of time wrapping up my role with my current boss. I like him well enough. We have always had a fine, professional working relationship. But if I am honest, I have never quite been able to get his number. We worked together for years, got our jobs done, and kept things cordial, but it never went deeper than that.

His first departure message about me was a two-liner. It was awful. He did not even copy me on it, which I understand now because it simply said that I was leaving, that someone else was taking my place, and to send the message to anyone who needed to know. That was it. After seventeen years, that was the announcement. I teared up that day because wow, what a glamorous ending to a long career.

He warned me ahead of time that he would send out a more formal message when I was closer to leaving. At the time, I was not even sure why he felt the need to send the first one at all. The more formal email did come later, and it was nicer. It was probably AI-generated, but honestly, I cannot judge. I have used AI plenty myself.

The thing is, over all these years working for him, I have always felt stuck in this neutral space. He liked me well enough, but I was never the golden child. I probably did not deserve to be. My personal life became very complicated during his tenure, and I know that mattered. Still, it is strange to walk away not really knowing what someone thinks of you after that long.

I turned in my badge recently. I have a couple more workdays left, but I will not be on site. With it being so close to Christmas, I did not get to really say goodbye to anyone, which made the ending feel even quieter. I will send my goodbye email soon.

I am a sappy person. I know that about myself. It is all coming out right now.

What surprised me most was realizing that I still crave closure. I even found myself wishing for it with his boss, not him. Normally, I am my own worst critic. I always have been, even when I have had bosses who absolutely adored me. But on one of my drives, I caught myself fantasizing about a conversation that would lay everything out on the table. One of those honest, this-is-what-went-wrong-and-right conversations, for both of our sakes.

It will not happen. And that is okay.

I probably will not think about it much once I officially start my new, neutral role. But right now, in this in-between space, it feels worth naming. Endings are strange. Even the ones we choose can still carry grief.

Life has a funny way of reminding us how quickly seasons change. That is part of why I believe so deeply in luxury photography for women. So many of us spend years pouring into our work, our families, and everyone else, rarely pausing to mark who we are in the middle of it all. A luxury portrait experience is not about perfection. It is about honoring the woman you are right now, in this season, before it quietly becomes the next chapter.

With New Hope,

Kristian

---

Life is messy and loud and beautiful, and so are you. At Kristian Hutchings Portraits, I’ve built an experience that takes you out of the everyday and into a space where you’re pampered, posed, and celebrated. From professional hair and makeup to portraits you’ll treasure for a lifetime, this is more than photos, it’s a chance to finally put yourself first.

____________________

Kristian is a mom of six, Program Manager by day, active Professional Photographer by trade, and a big believer in finding beauty in the everyday chaos.

Life in our house is loud, messy and full of literally everything. Love, noise, laundry, laughter, and definitely could use a bit more grace. I'm happily married to my best friend, grounded in my Catholic faith, and fueled by five to six hours of sleep per night and adrenaline.

I try to find joy in the everyday, even when it's wild, because without the little bit of joy, this life would be unbearable. This space is for the moms in the middle of it all, the ones juggling family, faith, work, and wonder. The ones that need someone else's messy life to make their own seem better or somewhat normal. You're not alone, and you're doing better than you think.

Welcome to Six Sweet Smiles, where we celebrate the mess, the miracles, and everything in between.