The Day I Spent $40 on Sodas (and Other Lessons on Hosting Friends)

Big Family Rules Don’t Always Translate

As a mom of six, our house runs a little differently than most. We do things family-style, survival-mode, and with a whole lot of grace. That means the rules in our home don’t always match the rules in someone else’s, and when you start inviting other kids into the mix, you notice it fast.

Family-Style Food (Even at Fast Food)

Growing up an only child, I never experienced “family-style” eating outside of Thanksgiving. Now? It’s the only way we survive.

Instead of buying individual meals, we buy in bulk: a couple pizzas, a Bueno box loaded with tacos and burritos, a 30-piece nugget tray from Chick-fil-A, or 40 McNuggets and two large fries for $17 at McDonald’s. Feeding everyone this way saves us at least $30–40 a trip.

But when we had friends over recently, I noticed how unusual this feels to kids from smaller families. They weren’t used to “grab what you want from the box”, they wanted to order à la carte. Nothing wrong with that at all, but it was one of those small reminders: the way we do food is normal for us, but not for everyone.

Budgeting for Extras

Case in point: for my son’s birthday, we took 10 boys to CiCi’s before heading to a football event. I budgeted carefully, food plus activities for a set amount. My kids always drink water at restaurants unless the drink is included, so I figured drinks wouldn’t be an issue.

But when I asked who wanted a soda… every hand went up. Even my kids’ hands (thanks, guys). $40 later, I was laughing at myself for forgetting that when you add other kids into the mix, your “house rules” don’t always stick.

Car Rules Clash Too

This weekend, we gave one of my 8-year-old’s new friends a ride home. I told him to hop in the back with my son and my 5-year-old, since the middle row is full of car seats. Without missing a beat, he said, “I’m sitting in the front.”

Now, in our family, no 8-year-old rides in the front seat. Legally, mine aren’t tall enough, and it’s just not a rule I bend. But here was this sweet boy insisting it was fine, because “my mom lets me.”

For a three-minute drive through our neighborhood at 15 mph, I let it slide, but it was another reminder that once you add other people’s kids into your family rhythm, you’re no longer the only authority. You’re balancing your rules with theirs, and sometimes the best you can do is pick your battles.

A Different Childhood Than We Had

When I was growing up, friends just showed up. Kids roamed the neighborhood, played outside until dark, and piled into each other’s houses. Now? It’s so different.

Playdates have to be arranged between moms, scheduled weeks out, and kids don’t really just “walk over” to play anymore, even though we literally live across from an elementary school. Between safety concerns and busy family schedules, it feels like spontaneous play doesn’t happen as often.

And maybe that’s why, as we’re finally starting to open our home to more friends, it feels like such an adjustment for me, for my kids, and for their friends.

Live and Learn

So yes, sometimes I don’t know my drive-thru menu because we’re feeding eight people with one order. Sometimes I underestimate the soda budget. Sometimes I let another family’s kid ride shotgun for a three-minute drive, even though mine never would.

Big families just operate differently, and that’s okay. But when you bring other kids into the mix, you learn quickly that not every family runs on the same rules.

And that’s the beauty (and the challenge) of parenting in community: you live, you learn, and you extend grace… to yourself, your kids, and to the new little people who join your family for the day.

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Mama, I know how easy it is to get lost in the swirl of kids, work, and life. That’s why I love creating space for moms to pause, breathe, and be reminded of their beauty. At Kristian Hutchings Portraits, you’ll be cared for from start to finish, and you’ll leave with images that show you the grace and strength your family already sees every day.

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Kristian is a mom of six, Program Manager by day, active Professional Photographer by trade, and a big believer in finding beauty in the everyday chaos.

Life in our house is loud, messy and full of literally everything. Love, noise, laundry, laughter, and definitely could use a bit more grace. I'm happily married to my best friend, grounded in my Catholic faith, and fueled by five to six hours of sleep per night and adrenaline.

I try to find joy in the everyday — even when it's wild, because without the little bit of joy, this life would be unbearable. This space is for the moms in the middle of it all: the ones juggling family, faith, work, and wonder. The ones that need someone else's messy life to make their own seem better or somewhat normal. You're not alone, and you're doing better than you think.

Welcome to Six Sweet Smiles — where we celebrate the mess, the miracles, and everything in between.