Having Kids - What you Expect Vs. What you Get

I was looking at an old toy train of my husband's today, the one that survived 30 years until our third child got ahold of it. For whatever reason it hit me. This whole having kids thing is falsely advertised.

Whether it is the perfect kids in the movies that teach their parents important lessons about life and imagination or the devilish kids of your favorite sitcom that make their parent's heads spin, real life is nothing like it is represented in movies, books, or on social media.

However, books and movies of where I got my idea of what a real family was like. It might be me just being naïve, I am an only child, but even thinking about my friends with siblings, life is just.so.different than it seemed.

What I expected when I had kids (regardless of the number):

• A perfectly clean house and kids that knew how to clean details

• A couple loads of laundry a week

• To spend time on the floor and playground with my kids - nearly all the time that they were home

• Helping with homework and actually remembering the lessons in school

• Reading books and watching movies curled up on the couch together

• A friendship with my children where I was still the boss and trusted advisor

What happened when I had kids:

• A messy house that literally cannot stay clean for two hours

• I am hunted down like prey. Specifically to see if I'm "going pee" or "going poop"

• Clutter and toys everywhere

• Things that I don't even know where they belong so they sit out until I put them somewhere, and then I forget where they are

• Never ending laundry and dishes

• Getting on the floor is uncomfortable now, and getting back up makes me feel old

• Too much yelling and being frustrated

• Kids that listen .... sometimes

• Backpacks from last school year that have moldy food in them (I bet) because we still haven't cleaned them out

• Being touched out and wanting to lock myself in my bedroom

• I try to be the trusted advisor, but they still have to make their own mistakes

Granted, it's not all bad. Here are some of my favorite things about being a mom.

• My oldest child is my twin. He looks just like me. The only exception is that he got his dad's height and fast metabolism and he's a he.

• The chaos is charming, somehow. In the midst of losing my mind with everything going on I remember, it's my everything.

• Big family pride. I admit I enjoy when someone goes "six? woah", even though I never intended to have more than two or three.

• Watching the kids learn. I had no idea how much of an absolute blank slate babies were. Learning how to walk? Sure, we all hear about that. But what about learning how to swing on a swing set or string words together into a sentence, it's so much fun to watch.

• How much I love my husband, and the fact that I can lean on him when things get out of control

• Conversations with the kids about important things, and telling them how Catholic views are different than secular views

• The hugs, Thank You's, and other sweet little things they do

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Kristian is a mom of six, Program Manager by day, active Professional Photographer by trade, and a big believer in finding beauty in the everyday chaos.

Life in our house is loud, messy and full of literally everything. Love, noise, laundry, laughter, and definitely could use a bit more grace. I'm happily married to my best friend, grounded in my Catholic faith, and fueled by five to six hours of sleep per night and adrenaline.

I try to find joy in the everyday — even when it's wild, because without the little bit of joy, this life would be unbearable. This space is for the moms in the middle of it all: the ones juggling family, faith, work, and wonder. The ones that need someone else's messy life to make their own seem better or somewhat normal. You're not alone, and you're doing better than you think.

Welcome to Six Sweet Smiles — where we celebrate the mess, the miracles, and everything in between.