Big Families and the People Who React to Them

I was thinking about big families earlier. Obviously we qualify as a big family. Even in our own church we are, to be honest, the biggest family I know of. It makes me laugh sometimes to see how people respond to that, both inside the church and outside of it.

There are the people who light up when they hear how many kids we have. They come over with stories that start with something like, “I am number six of eight” or “I had two little brothers and five big sisters and a big brother.” They tell me about the noise and the joy and the chaos they grew up in, and I genuinely love listening to those stories. There is something so warm in the way they talk about their families. They get it. They lived it. They are proud of it.

Then there are the people who are not entirely sure what to say to us. I walk into the parking lot surrounded, literally surrounded, by my kids. I am carrying one, two or three are bouncing off the pavement like rubber balls, another one is wandering, and the whole group sort of forms a ring around me. These people see us and immediately start the quiet math. You can see the eyes flickering. The silent counting. The wait let me count that again energy. It is the same sort of awkward moment you get when someone sees something unfamiliar and has no idea what the appropriate response is. Not in a rude way. More in a “I will just stay quiet and stare but not really stare” kind of way. And honestly, it makes me laugh. I get it. I have been that person. I never thought I would be the mom of six kids either.

When we had four kids there was a family at our old church with five. They were the big family. When we were pregnant with number five we joked about accidentally tying them. Then nine months after that I was pregnant again with number six, and at that point we realized we had become the new big family.

Then you have the sarcastic people. They want to make sure we know how wild it must be. They say things like “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “You must have your hands full!” When we had four kids, my very shy husband shocked me one day by replying with pure sarcasm. He said, “Yes, but I like doing it.” The first time he said that I nearly fainted. I was stunned. We were in church too. I did not know whether to laugh or hide.

There are also the ones who sigh and tell us they wish they could have had a big family. And there are the ones with two or three kids who say they hope to have a big family someday. That was never our plan. God simply placed it on our plate and here we are.

And truly, I would not trade it. Not for a second.

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Mama, I know how easy it is to get lost in the swirl of kids, work, and life. That’s why I love creating space for moms to pause, breathe, and be reminded of their beauty. At Kristian Hutchings Portraits, you’ll be cared for from start to finish, and you’ll leave with images that show you the grace and strength your family already sees every day.

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Kristian is a mom of six, Program Manager by day, active Professional Photographer by trade, and a big believer in finding beauty in the everyday chaos.

Life in our house is loud, messy and full of literally everything. Love, noise, laundry, laughter, and definitely could use a bit more grace. I'm happily married to my best friend, grounded in my Catholic faith, and fueled by five to six hours of sleep per night and adrenaline.

I try to find joy in the everyday — even when it's wild, because without the little bit of joy, this life would be unbearable. This space is for the moms in the middle of it all: the ones juggling family, faith, work, and wonder. The ones that need someone else's messy life to make their own seem better or somewhat normal. You're not alone, and you're doing better than you think.

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